


The song they heard

by yaoyorozoops



Category: Siren (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben-centric, Drabble, F/F, F/F/M, F/M, Multi, S2E16: New World Order, Stream of Consciousness, polyship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-08-18 22:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaoyorozoops/pseuds/yaoyorozoops
Summary: Ben makes a mistake.





	The song they heard

Before it all went to shit, they had that song. Of course, part of the mess was because of that song: if not for it, maybe the military wouldn't have known as much as they did, maybe Chris and the others wouldn't have been hurt, maybe Ryn's sister wouldn't have gone away. But none of it was Ryn's fault. If there was one thing Ben knew, it was that none of it was her fault.

They all had that song. It was something that connected them. When they first met, it was a form of communication when there was a lack of words. When Ryn was gone, it was a way to still feel her. Until it all became dangerous. Again, it wasn't her fault.

Then, in the water. Ben dove under, hoping to save Ryn. He heard her voice, many voices all at once. Ryn was in trouble, he had to save her. He got a vision of her, flailing in the water, her skin ripping and changing, inside that car. What car? No, he had jumped from his boat, though he couldn’t exactly remember why he thought Ryn had been in trouble in the first place. Then the song overcame him.

After that, he forgot about the car he had imagined that day. Until months later, when he crossed it again, this time in reality. The song overcame him again as he could hear Ryn close to him but couldn't see her, and the next thing he knew, he was pulling that damned reporter out of the water. He wanted to blame it on Ryn again, but still, he knew it wasn't her fault. Because it wasn't only the song he’d heard then, it was the pleading cries of a dying man. It was his instincts.

His instincts, which had taken over at that one crucial moment in the water, had come to hurt him. Two months later, he felt the same racing in his heart and lungs, the same beating in his head, and the sensation of time speeding up as his need to protect Ryn and Maddie superseded any logic he might’ve welled up.

But, it wasn’t only him, who, as he saw those men and heard that gunshot, felt the high-pitched ringing-turned-song berating the inside of his eardrums. No, the one who felt it the most, although she’d only felt it as a dull roar in the back of her head since the treatments, was Maddie. As it was the last time she would ever hear it.

There was no way Ben could ever forgive himself. Every second he sat there, in the military truck with his father, stabbed into him like torture as he thought of all the times he’d felt something for her, for either of them. Like the first time he and Maddie admitted their feelings for each other; the first time he'd heard Ryn's song; the time he and Maddie listened together. The song kept echoing through his head, as if he was subconsciously, desperately trying to hold onto the bond he held with them before he forgot what it sounded like. But it was already too late; the sound faded into only a dull, drowning noise strumming through him.

His father's voice slowly trickled into his thoughts, and his overwhelming confusion, heartbreak, and love were displaced by a sudden wave of anger. He couldn't put the rage he was feeling into words, only managing to scream out the first question the came to mind. "What the hell were you doing?"

"Ben--"

He ignored his father, the anger belting out of him with every word he yelled, "No, you do not get to explain yourself. Maddie is-- Ryn is--"

Maddie. Ryn. The song came flooding back. An image, even, connected to it this time. Of a child, Ryn's child, or more the possibility of a child that had been taken so suddenly away from them. He would learn everything with them: how to walk, how to swim, how to talk and communicate and learn and love. But now, he would never see Ryn again. He could never see Maddie again. So maybe the child wasn't ever meant to be.

And he realized he had nothing to say to his father. Maybe he finally understood on some level why he could have possibly done what he did. Or maybe the song had sunk too far inside him, the tendrils of melody taking over until there was no more possible room left inside his mind besides the memories, the instincts, the love of her song.


End file.
